Papaw's Blog

Saturday, September 13, 2008

2008-09-13T14:47:00.000-07:00

Daddy passed away around 12:45 pm today.

He slept through the night without moving. Around 10:30am, he began to stir a bit, so we gave him some of his medicine to help him relax. Then about 12:30, he opened his eyes just a bit. His breathing became more labored, and mom and I both knew the time had come. My younger sister Peggy was able to make to his bedside before he died, and Barbara, my middle sister, was on her way from Mesquite. We just held him and talked to him, letting him know he was loved and that we were here with him. His breathing became slower, and he just slipped away.

My son said, "Leave it to Papaw to go out in a hurricane!" That is so true!

We have set the funeral for Tuesday at 10:00 am. The funeral will be at Lloyd James Funeral Home in Tyler, with burial at Cathedral of the Pines on South Broadway.

We are so thankful in knowing that Daddy is now celebrating in Heaven. Thank you so much, everyone, for your love and support during the past days.

Sue, Vickie, Barbara, and Peggy and their families

Friday, September 12, 2008

2008-09-12T17:33:00.000-07:00

The past two days have not been good ones. Daddy has been very restless and seems to be in pain. When the nurse visited today, we were instructed to increase his pain meds to every two hours and to increase the dosage. This has worked well to keep him sedated, and he appears to be free from pain.

We have mixed emotions. Why can't we have him free from pain and able to talk to us? Isn't there a magic pill somewhere that would do that? I don't think I am ready to have him sleep all the time. What if there is something else I need to say to him and he can't hear it? What if he passes away, and then I remember something I should have told him.

It's almost more than I can bear to see him like this, but I have to remember that we're doing this for him. The purpose of hospice is comfort and safety. Right now, he's comfortable. So my head tells me it's the correct step to take, but my heart still has doubts.

The nurse told us it could be a few more days. There are certain signs we will be looking for, and as we see those signs, we are one step closer to handing him over to God.

Thanks again to all of those who have called, sent cards, and sent emails. I can't tell you how much they mean to us.

September 10, 2008

2008-09-10T07:13:00.000-07:00

Daddy is still about the same. He is still eating very little - just a few bits of cereal yesterday, and drinking very little, as well. He is asking for pain medication more often now. I'm sure it's because he is so uncomfortable lying in bed. He has an intense pain in his right leg, and the nurse could not pinpoint the cause. We are just trying to keep him as comfortable as possible.

He loves to have his back rubbed, so that's my job now. I remember when we were kids how he liked for us kids to scratch his back. Mom said he would pay us a penny or nickel to do it, but, personally, I don't remember ever being paid. :)

After sending out emails to all of Daddy's work contacts, we have received so many emails and calls. It has been awesome. Thank you, David and Joe, for coming by to visit. I know it was hard for you, but I can't tell you what it meant to Daddy. And Liz, please let everyone at Wisco know how much the plant meant to him. His face just lit up when I took that plant in to him.

I am learning a whole new facet of my dad through this. I have always thought of him just as "daddy," but through conversations with people he has worked with, I can now see him as mentor, friend, and just a hard worker who knew what he was doing - an expert in his field. I am so proud of him and what he has accomplished in his life. Listening to the funny stories he and Joe talked about last night was great. Laughter is truly the best medicine!

Thank you to all of you who have called or sent emails. I am reading each of them to my dad. His standard response is "Well, bless his/her heart!" I'm going to print each of them out and give them to my mom in a little book so that she will have them to read later.

September 8, 2008

2008-09-08T14:56:00.000-07:00

I've decided to update Daddy's blog with the latest information. I have let it go for a couple of months, but now I feel there are many people out there who need to know about him and what is happening.

For the past several years, Papaw has been in declining health. His heart has gotten weaker, and despite several attempts to "fix" it, it just hasn't happened. He has been on oxygen for quite a while now, and even with that, he is constantly out of breath and out of energy. Those problems, along with several others, has made his life very frustrating for him.

He has been unable to drive, neither he nor mom, and the lack of independence and dependency on his children, has also been frustrating. It's very difficult to go from being strong and vital, to being weak and dependent. Their lives have evolved around doctor appointments, with very little else to occupy their time. However, Daddy has managed to build a lot of birdhouses. He uses his motorized wheelchair to piddle around the garage. Right now, there are several birdhouses out there in various stages of completion....

My dad has always been a rock to me. He's gruff and rough around the edges. But he has such a soft heart. I've seen him cry at things that really move him. I guess that's where I get it from. I cry at Hallmark commercials and even some McDonald commercials. He's generous to a fault. Each of his daughters will testify to that. Mom and dad have never been rich - they have worked for every cent they ever made. But if any of us kids needed help, they have always been there to bail us out.

Now it's time for the kids to become the parents. I've seen friends in this stage of their lives, taking care of the parents who have always taken care of them. It's difficult - but necessary. Every second I spend with my dad is a privilege. I want him to know how much I love him, and I want to be here with him to the very last second.

Dad went back into the hospital a couple of weeks ago. He became very weak. He was in the hospital for several days and then moved to a rehab center to help him regain his strength. He was there less than 24 hours when they transported him back to the hospital ER. His blood sugar level dropped to 31. Again, he was admitted back into the hospital. At that point, he literally gave up. He was totally worn out. Our family consulted with the doctor and others at the hospital, and then we made the decision to allow hospice to take over his care.

This means that the focus of his care is now on comfort and safety and not curative measures. The hospice staff is wonderful. We have an aide who comes out each day, and the nurses are on call 24/7. We had to call them Saturday night at midnight, and sweet Nurse Amy showed up to help us with Daddy. They are so awesome - all of them angels on earth. My husband and I lost his mom about 7 weeks ago, and she was in hospice, as well, so we were prepared for what hospice can do. But there is something about when it is YOUR dad that makes it even more special.

We know that Daddy's time on earth is drawing to a close, and he knows it, too. But I cannot close this blog out for now without telling you that I know that my dad will be in heaven with Jesus in just the blink of an eye. Several months ago, I had the privilege of leading him to Christ, so I know that I will see him again someday. I am so thankful for that. I urge you - if you do not know Christ, talk to someone now. Don't wait.

I will keep this blog updated as often as possible. If you want to contact us, please call us at 903.595.5566. Their address is 562 Princess Lane, Tyler 75704. If you want to send an email, please send it to my email address at vosborn@texascellnet.com. I will be checking his email often, but it would be best if you used this address instead.